Just thinking...

With Christmas right around the corner, a writer's mind goes wild. We are poor, we are starving, we are hopeless. A "real job" only interfers with our writing and we are deemed lazy. In reality, all we want to do is put food on the table by doing what we love. Christmas is an especially hard time for us. We can't afford to give those we love something beautiful and grand. Perhaps we can spill our guts onto paper and hastely disgust it as a present but material times make it impossible to serve material minds. With each night that tears roll, we search and scramble for ways to earn even the smallest bit of cash. We think of our families and our girls. All we want is for everyone to be happy and sometimes we just can't make that happen. The thought of our mother's opening a brand new dress, our father's opening his brand new tool, our women cracking open the box that contains a shinning and magnificant diamond ring. These things scar us and with each year, give us the feeling we need to find new means of income. This being said, if you know a writer or have one in your family, have mercy this year; They really do love you.

A Loser's December

In a cold room,
a lonely room
I sit and think.
I sit and think
as I sit upon the cold
empty
wallet
that hibernates in my
back pocket.
No gold this year
my dear.
No ribbons or bows.
If only I wasn't lazy.
If only I was a man.
Maybe then I could afford
some cards
some candy
something.
Maybe next year
if she isn't gone by then.

Bow

When asked for a screw

she lit up like a Christmas tree

Her lip stick stuck to her cigarette

as she took a long hard drag

Her hands roamed and eyes gazed

as she ventured onto my body

subliminally begging for discipline

like an iron fist

She went in for blood and got short changed

robbed at the gates and denied

I slid a bill like a leopards tongue

into her pants back pocket

as we said our good byes

as she left into the night.

As of right now, her whereabouts are unknown

if I had to guess I'd say she was dead

strung out barbie doll gutter ball

that haunted the alley i frequented most.

And every year around just around this time,

I leave a package by the spray painted wall

full of old pills and disregarded words

Merry Christmas darling

where ever you are.